Today was a very important day for me, as it is my first day free from government supervision. To the day, my ordeal began 5 years ago, and it ended yesterday, Sunday the 27th. I very much wanted to spend my first day of "freedom" with the person who, more than anyone, kept me from going to prison.
As I was taking the Metro to meet Elita for lunch, I spent most of the time thinking about when we first met, how I felt when I first met her that day in court for my arraignment, our subsequent meetings in prison, and after my release. How she drove all the way to Philadelphia to be my "date" when I was made a "Legend" in my profession, how she spent an entire afternoon with me driving around where I grew up when I came back to DC to fix my mom's house up so it could be sold. And the most important thing she said to me, "Trip, the Court knows you're a criminal, and that's all they know. What we need to do is to show them that there is an entirely different side to you...another life." It was that single statement that had more impact on me personally than anything else that Elita said to me. And the results of that statement impacted the judge to the point that he decided not to send me to prison.
At the time of my arrest, I was in a strange city, I had no money, no friends. The Court had to appoint a Public Defender to represent me, and that was Elita. I would never, ever been able to find or get a better attorney, even if I had all the money in the world. And I know that it was no "luck" that brought us together.
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
What a day today has been! I've officially started the countdown trip for the premiere in Providence. Flew to Lexington, VA via Charlotte today where I'll be here until Sunday evening when I go to Washington, DC to see my friends and family, and celebrate my "freedom" from my Government's "supervision" of my life on the 28th. Appropriately, I will be spending my first day with the woman who saved my life, Elita Amato, my lawyer who was picked for me. Then Tuesday night, I fly back to LA for about 7 hours of sleep before catching a flight to Travers City, MI for a four day show. Then on to Boston where I'll stay with my darling Lois, and start getting super nervous about the screening Thursday evening! Thank goodness I don't have any time between now and then to think much about it...but I suppose that will change once I get to Boston. We're going to drive down to Providence on Thursday.... This is a killer trip physically, but not only do I absolutely LOVE my work, but, more importantly, I'm beyond grateful that I can still do it. For awhile there, I thought I never would.
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Today, someone asked me which of the scenes we did was the most interesting. Without question, it was the scene in the kitchen where I re-created the weighing and bagging of the "drugs".
Earlier, we had discussed what we could use that looked realistic. I'm embarassed to say that my suggestions were terrible. So, when I walked into the kitchen that morning, I was stunned! There, on the table, were the very drugs I used to sell. I was more than stunned. I said, "What is that?" and when they told me, I burst out laughing. It was so real looking that it totally fooled me!! And the more I handled it, the more it behaved like the real thing. I couldn't keep a straight face, and we had to shoot more than several times to get me to be serious. Here I was re-creating the very thing that got me into this mess in the first place, and it was all perfectly harmless. And, on top of it, I couldn't resist taking little tastes of it (like I did with the real thing) only this was soooo much better! It was rock candy!!!
Monday, July 21, 2008
I've just spent the past 30 minutes looking at the new website for the Documentary. First of all I'm overwhelmed by the professionalism of the site. But personally, it was hard for me. I know that life is all about perspectives, but it's so very hard for me to look at this site and see myself in the light that it's being presented. I just don't see myself like that, but I know that others do. It's so strange for me.
For a brief moment, I thought, "What have I done to myself?" but I made a quick adjustment and reminded myself not only why I agreed to do this film, but, more importantly, that I turned this entire project over to my Higher Power, and everything will be just fine.
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Today, Stu asked me if there were any horse organizations that he (or I) could contact about the upcoming premiere. Truthfully, I'm not comfortable enough with things that I want to do that.
I'm just not sure how forgiving the horse community would be even at this point.
I surrendered that decision a long time ago. I'm just not ready to actively let my peers know of my disease yet, and all that went before. If others want to, I won't and can't stop them.
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
I went to the RIIFF's website today, and found the entry for the documentary. For the first time, I realized that this really IS happening, that it's very real, and that there's no turning back. Until I read that entry, I guess I was still keeping my secret. I wish I could tell how I feel about "coming out" like this...